“Ever have that feeling where you’re not sure if you’re awake or dreaming?”
-Neo, “The Matrix”
If you are new to this blog, I encourage you to start the journey with me from the beginning. 7/29/20, “The loss of a parent.”
The Talk
June 21, 2018 As my mom and I headed downstairs, I couldn’t help noticing that my hearing became distorted. Every sound became amplified. “Click-clack! Click-clack! Click-clack!” my mother’s shoes sounded like a hammer banging on the ground as she came down the stairs and my ears began to ring. As I got to the carContinue reading “The Talk”
The Big Question
Someday in early June 2018 It was time. Time for me to ask Sam and Jeannie could I meet them. At first I thought I wanted to meet them separately. I called Jeannie and we and made plans to meet in New Orleans. We thought I would be the perfect place to meet up andContinue reading “The Big Question”
One more question
01/09/2021 Before continuing my adoption story, I want to take a moment and reflect on my dad, Jim Jackson. Four years ago, on this day, my dad had a massive heart attack. He was “gone” for about 12 minutes and somehow “came back.” But the man I’ve always know as my father wasn’t there anymore.Continue reading “One more question”
Medical Conditions
May 15, 2018 I sat in the waiting room at the ENT- Ears Nose and Throat specialist. I’d been experiencing massive congestion and sinus headaches. I was a new patient and had to complete a “New Patient Packet.” When I got to the “PATIENT MEDICAL HISTORY” portion of the packet, I realized that I didn’tContinue reading “Medical Conditions”
Ass Kicking
Now that I know that I’m mixed race. I reflect back on moments in my life where people questioned the way I look. My hair and skin tone were the two physical features that were always on trial, and I never understood why. Both of my parents were “Black-Black,” my brothers were “Black-Black,” which meantContinue reading “Ass Kicking”
It’s official
May 12, 2018 My Bestie, brother from another mother, Valente, convinced me to join him for cheap drinks at El Toriotos. I ordered two gigantic margaritas, “Mariposas” because I, well, really needed it! I caught him up on all of the adoption discoveries and told him that I insisted Sam and Jeannie take a DNAContinue reading “It’s official”
Mommies Make Mistakes Too
Journal Entry:May 11, 2018 // 6 something the morning. Mother’s Day was in a few days, and I reluctantly purchased a gift online for my mom from my boys. I had projected that it was going to be a tough day for me. According to Wikipedia, Mother’s Day is a celebration honoring the mother ofContinue reading “Mommies Make Mistakes Too”
Dragonfly
Email, photos, music, poems, and artwork were pouring in from Sam, Jeannie, and their families faster than I could digest. Two weeks have passed, and I’m still trying to keep it together—at least on the outside. During the day, I’d make silly jokes to colleagues and friends about how absurd my life has become. EveryoneContinue reading “Dragonfly”
Spit Sisters
Sun., April 15th, 2018, at 5:06 PM It was a warm, sunny day in Santa Monica. I was listening to “Yellow” by Cold Play – love that song. I had just received devastating news from a childhood friend, Sara. She texted that her father just passed… What’s ironic about this is that her father andContinue reading “Spit Sisters”
You’re Still Black.
April 2018 The rest of the month, I called my closest friends and told them about my discovery. This task was challenging. I didn’t have to do it, but I felt as if I owed to them. What was it that I owed them? I’m not sure. But telling them about my “new identity” feltContinue reading “You’re Still Black.”
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Wow! I’m already riveted. Thank you for being willing to share the many journies you have experienced. With your transparency, I have feeling you will help others and yourself.
With love and admiration.
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Sam shared this with me today, Janeen, and I really admire your courage to share your astonishing discovery and life journey. You are such an inspiring person, and I am so glad to know you! I look forward to the day we can meet one another.
In the meantime, I will be following your blog and looking forward to new posts. (You are a great writer by the way!)
With love and understanding,
Kate
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Having lost my father this past Autumn I find your words comforting and serene. Thank you.
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