Janeen Jackson

Happy Birthday

March 10, 2022 Happy birthday to me…happy birthday to me! Happy birthday I’m 50… … Happeee Biiiirthday toooo meeee!! As I reflect on 50 years of my life, I think about how much love surrounded me growing up. From the moment my mom and dad brought me home until my dad’s last breath in 2017,Continue reading “Happy Birthday”

Pitch Perfect

My heart pounded as I drove Jeanne, my birth mother, back to her Airbnb. “I can’t believe that my BIRTH MOTHER is in the car with me!” I repeatedly screamed in my head. And then a tugging sensation developed at the base of my throat as I thought about the phrase, “Birth Mother.” Birth Mother… Birth Mother…birth…mother? IContinue reading “Pitch Perfect”

Welcome Back

July 7, 2018 My mind raced when I saw the Lyft coming down the street. 5… 4…. 3… 2… 1…. They are here. What’s happening. It’s happening. They are not mine. Are they? Wait. What? Who are they? Who’s he? Wait. Who’s she? What? I’m not ready! What? Oh, God! Here they come! The moment IContinue reading “Welcome Back”

When Doves Cry

July 7, 2018 // 6:18 am Today is THE day. I’ll be meeting up with Sam & Jeannie. Huh… It’s still so strange to me that two strangers have changed my life forever. There are still parts of me that find the last 3 months unreal. THIS is why I meeting them today. I stillContinue reading “When Doves Cry”

“Walk With Me Lord”

July 3, 2018 (Journal entry) I am excited that the moment is near! Sam is in Santa Monica, and Jeannie is packing and ready to leave Philly. Ron, took me shopping to find a perfect outfit. I am so grateful for him because I’m all over the place. I settled on a lace tunic, blackContinue reading ““Walk With Me Lord””

Timeline

June 21, 2018 Prepping for Sam and Jeannie’s visit in July was nerve-wracking. This moment was going to be My “real” birth story, and it had to be as Prepping for Sam and Jeannie’s visit in July was nerve-wracking. This moment would be My “real” birth story, and it had to be as perfect. ItContinue reading “Timeline”

Broken Hearts

June 9, 1996 // Silver Spring, MD I didn’t like my life in 1996. I was experiencing a horrible breakup with a guy I was engaged to. The split threw me into the well of depression. My heart shattered into millions of pieces. I didn’t trust anyone after that moment, including myself. I also startedContinue reading “Broken Hearts”

Please Accept My Apology

August 19, 2021 Hey there! Before I continue to write about journey, I ask you to accept my apology for not posting for the past few months. I’ve been in the thick of life since my last entry in May of this year. Work, family, and my health (not covid related) have consumed me. I’veContinue reading “Please Accept My Apology”

Song In the Key of Life

June 22, 2018 Now that my mother was gone I put all of my attention on the meeting with Jeannie and Sam. There was a lot to prepare before our meetup. A month prior I had spoken to Jeannie and had this grandiose idea of playing the piano while she sang. What was I thinking?Continue reading “Song In the Key of Life”

Mother’s Day

May 9, 2021 It’s been a while since my last post. Several of you sent me private messages asking if I’ve been okay and asked me when I was going to post again… Well, here I am. I’ve resurfaced. My last entry, “The Talk,” stirred up emotions I thought I had overcome. So, I hadContinue reading “Mother’s Day”

The Talk

June 21, 2018 As my mom and I headed downstairs, I couldn’t help noticing that my hearing became distorted. Every sound became amplified. “Click-clack! Click-clack! Click-clack!” my mother’s shoes sounded like a hammer banging on the ground as she came down the stairs and my ears began to ring. As I got to the carContinue reading “The Talk”

The Big Question

Someday in early June 2018 It was time. Time for me to ask Sam and Jeannie could I meet them. At first I thought I wanted to meet them separately. I called Jeannie and we and made plans to meet in New Orleans. We thought I would be the perfect place to meet up andContinue reading “The Big Question”

One more question

01/09/2021 Before continuing my adoption story, I want to take a moment and reflect on my dad, Jim Jackson. Four years ago, on this day, my dad had a massive heart attack. He was “gone” for about 12 minutes and somehow “came back.” But the man I’ve always know as my father wasn’t there anymore.Continue reading “One more question”

Medical Conditions

May 15, 2018 I sat in the waiting room at the ENT- Ears Nose and Throat specialist. I’d been experiencing massive congestion and sinus headaches. I was a new patient and had to complete a “New Patient Packet.” When I got to the “PATIENT MEDICAL HISTORY” portion of the packet, I realized that I didn’tContinue reading “Medical Conditions”

Ass Kicking

Now that I know that I’m mixed race. I reflect back on moments in my life where people questioned the way I look. My hair and skin tone were the two physical features that were always on trial, and I never understood why. Both of my parents were “Black-Black,” my brothers were “Black-Black,” which meantContinue reading “Ass Kicking”

It’s official

May 12, 2018 My Bestie, brother from another mother, Valente, convinced me to join him for cheap drinks at El Toriotos. I ordered two gigantic margaritas, “Mariposas” because I, well, really needed it! I caught him up on all of the adoption discoveries and told him that I insisted Sam and Jeannie take a DNAContinue reading “It’s official”

Mommies Make Mistakes Too

Journal Entry:May 11, 2018 // 6 something the morning. Mother’s Day was in a few days, and I reluctantly purchased a gift online for my mom from my boys. I had projected that it was going to be a tough day for me. According to Wikipedia, Mother’s Day is a celebration honoring the mother ofContinue reading “Mommies Make Mistakes Too”

Dragonfly

Email, photos, music, poems, and artwork were pouring in from Sam, Jeannie, and their families faster than I could digest. Two weeks have passed, and I’m still trying to keep it together—at least on the outside. During the day, I’d make silly jokes to colleagues and friends about how absurd my life has become. EveryoneContinue reading “Dragonfly”

Spit Sisters

Sun., April 15th, 2018, at 5:06 PM It was a warm, sunny day in Santa Monica. I was listening to “Yellow” by Cold Play – love that song. I had just received devastating news from a childhood friend, Sara. She texted that her father just passed… What’s ironic about this is that her father andContinue reading “Spit Sisters”

You’re Still Black.

April 2018 The rest of the month, I called my closest friends and told them about my discovery. This task was challenging. I didn’t have to do it, but I felt as if I owed to them. What was it that I owed them? I’m not sure. But telling them about my “new identity” feltContinue reading “You’re Still Black.”