Uncategorized – Mixed-Up. My diary about family secrets, DNA, and the complexities of race and adoption.

Happy Birthday

March 10, 2022 Happy birthday to me…happy birthday to me! Happy birthday I’m 50… … Happeee Biiiirthday toooo meeee!! As I reflect on 50 years of my life, I think about how much love surrounded me growing up. From the moment my mom and dad brought me home until my dad’s last breath in 2017,Continue reading “Happy Birthday”

Pitch Perfect

My heart pounded as I drove Jeanne, my birth mother, back to her Airbnb. “I can’t believe that my BIRTH MOTHER is in the car with me!” I repeatedly screamed in my head. And then a tugging sensation developed at the base of my throat as I thought about the phrase, “Birth Mother.” Birth Mother… Birth Mother…birth…mother? IContinue reading “Pitch Perfect”

Welcome Back

July 7, 2018 My mind raced when I saw the Lyft coming down the street. 5… 4…. 3… 2… 1…. They are here. What’s happening. It’s happening. They are not mine. Are they? Wait. What? Who are they? Who’s he? Wait. Who’s she? What? I’m not ready! What? Oh, God! Here they come! The moment IContinue reading “Welcome Back”

When Doves Cry

July 7, 2018 // 6:18 am Today is THE day. I’ll be meeting up with Sam & Jeannie. Huh… It’s still so strange to me that two strangers have changed my life forever. There are still parts of me that find the last 3 months unreal. THIS is why I meeting them today. I stillContinue reading “When Doves Cry”

“Walk With Me Lord”

July 3, 2018 (Journal entry) I am excited that the moment is near! Sam is in Santa Monica, and Jeannie is packing and ready to leave Philly. Ron, took me shopping to find a perfect outfit. I am so grateful for him because I’m all over the place. I settled on a lace tunic, blackContinue reading ““Walk With Me Lord””

Broken Hearts

June 9, 1996 // Silver Spring, MD I didn’t like my life in 1996. I was experiencing a horrible breakup with a guy I was engaged to. The split threw me into the well of depression. My heart shattered into millions of pieces. I didn’t trust anyone after that moment, including myself. I also startedContinue reading “Broken Hearts”

Please Accept My Apology

August 19, 2021 Hey there! Before I continue to write about journey, I ask you to accept my apology for not posting for the past few months. I’ve been in the thick of life since my last entry in May of this year. Work, family, and my health (not covid related) have consumed me. I’veContinue reading “Please Accept My Apology”

Mother’s Day

May 9, 2021 It’s been a while since my last post. Several of you sent me private messages asking if I’ve been okay and asked me when I was going to post again… Well, here I am. I’ve resurfaced. My last entry, “The Talk,” stirred up emotions I thought I had overcome. So, I hadContinue reading “Mother’s Day”

The Talk

June 21, 2018 As my mom and I headed downstairs, I couldn’t help noticing that my hearing became distorted. Every sound became amplified. “Click-clack! Click-clack! Click-clack!” my mother’s shoes sounded like a hammer banging on the ground as she came down the stairs and my ears began to ring. As I got to the carContinue reading “The Talk”

Medical Conditions

May 15, 2018 I sat in the waiting room at the ENT- Ears Nose and Throat specialist. I’d been experiencing massive congestion and sinus headaches. I was a new patient and had to complete a “New Patient Packet.” When I got to the “PATIENT MEDICAL HISTORY” portion of the packet, I realized that I didn’tContinue reading “Medical Conditions”

Ass Kicking

Now that I know that I’m mixed race. I reflect back on moments in my life where people questioned the way I look. My hair and skin tone were the two physical features that were always on trial, and I never understood why. Both of my parents were “Black-Black,” my brothers were “Black-Black,” which meantContinue reading “Ass Kicking”