birth – Mixed-Up. My diary about family secrets, DNA, and the complexities of race and adoption.

Happy Birthday

March 10, 2022 Happy birthday to me…happy birthday to me! Happy birthday I’m 50… … Happeee Biiiirthday toooo meeee!! As I reflect on 50 years of my life, I think about how much love surrounded me growing up. From the moment my mom and dad brought me home until my dad’s last breath in 2017,Continue reading “Happy Birthday”

When Doves Cry

July 7, 2018 // 6:18 am Today is THE day. I’ll be meeting up with Sam & Jeannie. Huh… It’s still so strange to me that two strangers have changed my life forever. There are still parts of me that find the last 3 months unreal. THIS is why I meeting them today. I stillContinue reading “When Doves Cry”

“Walk With Me Lord”

July 3, 2018 (Journal entry) I am excited that the moment is near! Sam is in Santa Monica, and Jeannie is packing and ready to leave Philly. Ron, took me shopping to find a perfect outfit. I am so grateful for him because I’m all over the place. I settled on a lace tunic, blackContinue reading ““Walk With Me Lord””

Timeline

June 21, 2018 Prepping for Sam and Jeannie’s visit in July was nerve-wracking. This moment was going to be My “real” birth story, and it had to be as Prepping for Sam and Jeannie’s visit in July was nerve-wracking. This moment would be My “real” birth story, and it had to be as perfect. ItContinue reading “Timeline”

Separation Anxiety

“Pain is weakness leaving the body.” –Chesty Puller April 14, 2018 Out of breath and in complete pain, I crept steadily up the Santa Monica Stairs with my friend Kerrisha. “Come on, Janeen! You’ve got this!” she cheered 20 steps ahead of me. >>Pause. The Santa Monica Stairs is a public stairway that descends fromContinue reading “Separation Anxiety”

Get Here if you can

April 13, 2018 I’m not even a week into my discovery, yet I know so much about Sam and not much about Jeannie. The last I heard from her was through the “I may be your mother” email. So Catherine, my new cousin, had been my anchor since I found out about the truth. I’dContinue reading “Get Here if you can”

Birth story

My birth story, according to my parents, was never clear. Whenever I’d ask about it, there were many “I don’t know,” “I can’t remember,” or slight changes every time I asked about it. Once, my dad said that he was at my mom’s side during my birth, and then another time, he’d said that aContinue reading “Birth story”