My heart pounded as I drove Jeanne, my birth mother, back to her Airbnb. “I can’t believe that my BIRTH MOTHER is in the car with me!” I repeatedly screamed in my head. And then a tugging sensation developed at the base of my throat as I thought about the phrase, “Birth Mother.” Birth Mother… Birth Mother…birth…mother? IContinue reading “Pitch Perfect”
Tag Archives: family secrets
Welcome Back
July 7, 2018 My mind raced when I saw the Lyft coming down the street. 5… 4…. 3… 2… 1…. They are here. What’s happening. It’s happening. They are not mine. Are they? Wait. What? Who are they? Who’s he? Wait. Who’s she? What? I’m not ready! What? Oh, God! Here they come! The moment IContinue reading “Welcome Back”
When Doves Cry
July 7, 2018 // 6:18 am Today is THE day. I’ll be meeting up with Sam & Jeannie. Huh… It’s still so strange to me that two strangers have changed my life forever. There are still parts of me that find the last 3 months unreal. THIS is why I meeting them today. I stillContinue reading “When Doves Cry”
“Walk With Me Lord”
July 3, 2018 (Journal entry) I am excited that the moment is near! Sam is in Santa Monica, and Jeannie is packing and ready to leave Philly. Ron, took me shopping to find a perfect outfit. I am so grateful for him because I’m all over the place. I settled on a lace tunic, blackContinue reading ““Walk With Me Lord””
Timeline
June 21, 2018 Prepping for Sam and Jeannie’s visit in July was nerve-wracking. This moment was going to be My “real” birth story, and it had to be as Prepping for Sam and Jeannie’s visit in July was nerve-wracking. This moment would be My “real” birth story, and it had to be as perfect. ItContinue reading “Timeline”
Broken Hearts
June 9, 1996 // Silver Spring, MD I didn’t like my life in 1996. I was experiencing a horrible breakup with a guy I was engaged to. The split threw me into the well of depression. My heart shattered into millions of pieces. I didn’t trust anyone after that moment, including myself. I also startedContinue reading “Broken Hearts”
The Big Question
Someday in early June 2018 It was time. Time for me to ask Sam and Jeannie could I meet them. At first I thought I wanted to meet them separately. I called Jeannie and we and made plans to meet in New Orleans. We thought I would be the perfect place to meet up andContinue reading “The Big Question”
HBCU Graduates
April 17, 2018 Sam sent me an email today with a scanned image of himself. It’s a local news article, and he’s leading children in dance as he plays the harmonica. He’s so incredibly thin. I was skinny too and wore a size 0/2 until I had my second child. I really can’t believe thisContinue reading “HBCU Graduates”
Get Here if you can
April 13, 2018 I’m not even a week into my discovery, yet I know so much about Sam and not much about Jeannie. The last I heard from her was through the “I may be your mother” email. So Catherine, my new cousin, had been my anchor since I found out about the truth. I’dContinue reading “Get Here if you can”
Birth story
My birth story, according to my parents, was never clear. Whenever I’d ask about it, there were many “I don’t know,” “I can’t remember,” or slight changes every time I asked about it. Once, my dad said that he was at my mom’s side during my birth, and then another time, he’d said that aContinue reading “Birth story”
Boundaries.
The next day, David called as I walked to work. “Hi Janeen, it’s David.” “Hi, David.” “Do you own a red Mustang?” “What?” “Do you own a red Mustang? I see a red Mustang on the street near your house.” “What?!” I started looking around and over my shoulder and saw the car he wasContinue reading “Boundaries.”
National Siblings Day
April 10, 2018 “Hello David” “Yes?” “This is Janeen. I called to let you know that, yes, we are half-siblings.” An ice-cold sensation came over me and I trembled as that phrase came out of my mouth. “Ha! I knew that already!” he quipped.” I knew he must really be my “brother” because this guyContinue reading “National Siblings Day”
The Call
Monday, April 9, 2018 After taking a deep breath, I called Ron and told him everything. He was just as shock as me. “How do you know it’s not a scam? Did the adoption agency ask for your social security number? “No, they didn’t. I only provided the agency with a copy of my driver’sContinue reading “The Call”
Mystery Solved
Monday, April 9, 2018 I could not tell you if I went to sleep that night. In fact, I don’t remember anything else after texting my brother Jamar. My mind was wiped like in the movie “Men in Black” when they used their Neuralyzer to flash away memories of people. I can remember, however, thatContinue reading “Mystery Solved”
Dazed and confused
Wait, what? She Thinks She’s My MOTHER, and She Doesn’t Want to Get Ahead of Herself?!? At this point, I knew I was part of some online scam. I called my brother Jamar and told him what happened. He agreed that I was part of a scam and suggested that I call our mother toContinue reading “Dazed and confused”
Whatcha’ talkin’ ’bout Willis?
Saturday, April 7. The boys and I arrived at LAX, and we were wiped out. Who would think that a relaxing island would cause this much exhaustion? A bit crusted with sand, and sunburned, we were excited to see my husband pull up. Lots of hugs and kisses went all around. Once I got inContinue reading “Whatcha’ talkin’ ’bout Willis?”
Give Me a Break
March 2018, a year and a few months have gone by since the death of my dad. He would have been 78 this month. I was hurting emotionally and desperately needed some time off. Spring break was coming up for the kids, and I thought a relaxing vacation would be the perfect getaway. Every yearContinue reading “Give Me a Break”
The Loss of a Parent.
January 9, 2017, my life as I knew it ended on a cold evening in Fredericksburg, Virginia. My father was watching television in his family room when suddenly, he experienced a fatal heart attack. However, 12 minutes later, he miraculously “came back’” but was put into a medically induced coma. In February, my mother hadContinue reading “The Loss of a Parent.”
Mixed-Up. My diary about family secrets, DNA, and the complexities of race and adoption. 